He is such a slut. More and more my type.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
