I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
