I cockslap morals
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize