Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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