im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Blow job season was short but glorious.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
