she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize