Where is the hickey?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
