My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
