Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
