It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize