my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
