are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
