his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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