I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
