I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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