i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
