id be glad to
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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