he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
i've created a new STD.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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