my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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