If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
