Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
