My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
