If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
