ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
