Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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