Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
There's always time for handjobs
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
