CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
