Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
