whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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