just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
