He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
