Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
