Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
