I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
