he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
