There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
