i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
