Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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