I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
