You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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