I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
