Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
