i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
