Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
