somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
