I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
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