you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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