Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
