But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
