once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
