My first STD was from a foam party
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Randomize
