I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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