Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
