The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
