so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize