So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Actions speak louder than pants.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
