She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
