I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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