You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
