No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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