You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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