so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
